As I may have mentioned, we're using used books for our favors. So we ordered personalized rubber stamps which we could use to label said favors (name, date, thanks for coming, that sort of thing). After some back and forth with the designer, the stamps were finally shipped on the 19th. Since I had moved that weekend, I filled out a change of address form for the new place. The stamps were shipped to the old place.
It has now been 10 days and no stamps. Why? Well, as it turns out, the forwarding process can take 7-10 additional days . . . which means that I might not get the stamps until 10-14 days from the date of shipping. Which . . . may or may not result in them arriving before the wedding. Gah!
Fingers crossed.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Suit up
As if the dress drama weren't enough, now we're dealing with suit drama.
We decided to buy a suit rather than renting one (what a waste), partly because I wanted him in grey (morning wedding, plus grey is one of the wedding colors) and the only rentable grey suits had satin edging on the lapel, which: no. Plus this way he'd have another suit to wear.
We bought the only cheap grey suit they had, and when we initially had it measured for alterations, the guy had the HTB put the pants where he would normally wear them. The HTB wears his pants low--under his belly. So they measured and decided to take in the waist. When we came back, though, the waist was smaller (as requested), but the legs were huge, comparatively, and the crotch was low. They looked like Hammer pants, or clown pants, or something. And his bottom half is NOT large. So we had them take up the crotch a bit and the guy told us to come back last Saturday to check the fit, because the tailor would be in that day and we could talk to her about the fit around the legs.
When we went in on Saturday, we discovered that a) the crotch was better, but b) the tailor was NOT in and was not supposed to be. The salesman did his best to mark the legs to be taken in, and we were told to come back Tuesday. The guy even agreed to adjust the tailor's hours so she would still be there in the evening when we stopped by.
On Tuesday, the fit around the legs was a bit better, but the pants still poofed out around the pockets . . . sort of a hint of jodhpurs, if you know what I mean. But the tailor said she couldn't really do much more--she put in a basting stitch to fix them as much as she could, but we were starting to run into the pocket, so we were kind of stuck.
THEN the sales guy (one we hadn't talked to before) told us that the real problem was that there pants were designed to be worn at the waist, not below the waist, and if worn across his stomach instead of below it, then all the fit problems would have been fixed (which makes sense). So what SHOULD have happened is that the FIRST sales guy should have TOLD us that and we should have had them fitted for his WAIST instead of below it and maybe gotten stays put in and had him wear suspenders or something. But we did not KNOW that, so we had them taken in and hemmed as if they were low rise. Anyway, the tailor is doing what she can and we're to pick them up this weekend. There will still be a hint of jodhpurs around the hips, but there doesn't seem to be a way around that. The coat will cover it some, but it's just . . . not ideal. Sigh.
We decided to buy a suit rather than renting one (what a waste), partly because I wanted him in grey (morning wedding, plus grey is one of the wedding colors) and the only rentable grey suits had satin edging on the lapel, which: no. Plus this way he'd have another suit to wear.
We bought the only cheap grey suit they had, and when we initially had it measured for alterations, the guy had the HTB put the pants where he would normally wear them. The HTB wears his pants low--under his belly. So they measured and decided to take in the waist. When we came back, though, the waist was smaller (as requested), but the legs were huge, comparatively, and the crotch was low. They looked like Hammer pants, or clown pants, or something. And his bottom half is NOT large. So we had them take up the crotch a bit and the guy told us to come back last Saturday to check the fit, because the tailor would be in that day and we could talk to her about the fit around the legs.
When we went in on Saturday, we discovered that a) the crotch was better, but b) the tailor was NOT in and was not supposed to be. The salesman did his best to mark the legs to be taken in, and we were told to come back Tuesday. The guy even agreed to adjust the tailor's hours so she would still be there in the evening when we stopped by.
On Tuesday, the fit around the legs was a bit better, but the pants still poofed out around the pockets . . . sort of a hint of jodhpurs, if you know what I mean. But the tailor said she couldn't really do much more--she put in a basting stitch to fix them as much as she could, but we were starting to run into the pocket, so we were kind of stuck.
THEN the sales guy (one we hadn't talked to before) told us that the real problem was that there pants were designed to be worn at the waist, not below the waist, and if worn across his stomach instead of below it, then all the fit problems would have been fixed (which makes sense). So what SHOULD have happened is that the FIRST sales guy should have TOLD us that and we should have had them fitted for his WAIST instead of below it and maybe gotten stays put in and had him wear suspenders or something. But we did not KNOW that, so we had them taken in and hemmed as if they were low rise. Anyway, the tailor is doing what she can and we're to pick them up this weekend. There will still be a hint of jodhpurs around the hips, but there doesn't seem to be a way around that. The coat will cover it some, but it's just . . . not ideal. Sigh.
Dressed to kill
Oh my gosh I am so sick of dealing with my dress.
First I had to order it in my size. Then I had to try it on. Then I had to buy tulle for the petticoat I wanted them to add. Then I had to try it on again. Then they added the tulle and I had to try it on to see how long to make the tulle. Then I had to try it on again, and the tulle was longer on one side than the other and had pieces hanging off of it. And the dress hadn't been pressed (even though I'd asked them to). Then I came back AGAIN and tried it on . . . the tulle was better, but it still needed pressing.
So they pressed it for me right then. Thank God. Now it's hanging in my closet . . . we'll see if gets creased between now and the big day.
Meanwhile, the shoes came, and they're not the most comfortable things in the world, but I so don't care, because a) I love them, and b) I do NOT want to try to find something else. So instead I am wearing them around the office to break them in. Ha!
First I had to order it in my size. Then I had to try it on. Then I had to buy tulle for the petticoat I wanted them to add. Then I had to try it on again. Then they added the tulle and I had to try it on to see how long to make the tulle. Then I had to try it on again, and the tulle was longer on one side than the other and had pieces hanging off of it. And the dress hadn't been pressed (even though I'd asked them to). Then I came back AGAIN and tried it on . . . the tulle was better, but it still needed pressing.
So they pressed it for me right then. Thank God. Now it's hanging in my closet . . . we'll see if gets creased between now and the big day.
Meanwhile, the shoes came, and they're not the most comfortable things in the world, but I so don't care, because a) I love them, and b) I do NOT want to try to find something else. So instead I am wearing them around the office to break them in. Ha!
Brown chicken brown cow
One lady said she hadn't gotten me lingerie because it makes her squeamish . . . I thought she meant the whole idea made her squeamish, but instead of lingerie, she got me a bold pearl-looking bead necklace . . . which she recommended in lieu of lingerie! HILARIOUS! She also got me a bottle of bubble and a beach ball. She was all about "have fun" which was just . . . yeah, I was cracking up. Good times all around. And much more fun than a bachelorette party, IMHO.
Monday, April 18, 2011
All tied up
As I believe I mentioned, I also got ties/pocket squares for the gentlemen: paisley for the HTB (to be worn with a solid pocket square) and herringbone for the best man (to be worn with a paisley pocket square). And the HTB went in for a suit fitting this weekend . . . still more work to do on the pants, but progress has been made. All we have left is the shirt. Oh, and socks. Hmm.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Showered? Try DRENCHED.
This past weekend was my wedding shower. My! Wedding! Shower! (!!!)
It was actually kind of fun. I mean, don't get me wrong. It was also uncomfortable. It is always weird for me to be the, like, obvious center of attention . . . I feel the same way at birthday parties. Oddly enough, I'm plenty willing to goof off and talk loud and be the center of attention in a more organic way. But for some reason the "we are gathered here to celebrate . . . me" thing is always really, really weird. It's actually one part of the wedding that I think will be a challenge. "Attention, everyone! I am going to walk down the aisle now. Everybody watch me! ALL EYES ON ME!" Ugh.
Anyway, other than that weirdness, the shower was good. My roommate was in charge of food, and she had the inspired idea of basing the whole menu around cheese. Mascarpone brownies, pasta with asparagus and goat cheese, a cheese-and-apple tart, a cheese-and-fruit tart, various cheeses with crackers, some kind of hot cheese dish, mini pie crusts (which could be filled with cheesy spinach dip), etc. Yummo.
My small group leader planned the festivities. This included singing (we always sing a few hymns at small group), prayer, a devotional, and then presents. Of which there were many.
Everyone was so sweet, and so considerate, and seemed so genuinely happy for me . . . it was quite humbling.
It was actually kind of fun. I mean, don't get me wrong. It was also uncomfortable. It is always weird for me to be the, like, obvious center of attention . . . I feel the same way at birthday parties. Oddly enough, I'm plenty willing to goof off and talk loud and be the center of attention in a more organic way. But for some reason the "we are gathered here to celebrate . . . me" thing is always really, really weird. It's actually one part of the wedding that I think will be a challenge. "Attention, everyone! I am going to walk down the aisle now. Everybody watch me! ALL EYES ON ME!" Ugh.
Anyway, other than that weirdness, the shower was good. My roommate was in charge of food, and she had the inspired idea of basing the whole menu around cheese. Mascarpone brownies, pasta with asparagus and goat cheese, a cheese-and-apple tart, a cheese-and-fruit tart, various cheeses with crackers, some kind of hot cheese dish, mini pie crusts (which could be filled with cheesy spinach dip), etc. Yummo.
My small group leader planned the festivities. This included singing (we always sing a few hymns at small group), prayer, a devotional, and then presents. Of which there were many.
Everyone was so sweet, and so considerate, and seemed so genuinely happy for me . . . it was quite humbling.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Baby steps
This weekend, I:
--looked at flowers with my mom and a friend of mine who is going to do the bouquets/arrangements. Possible ideas include orange & red ranunculus, red anemones, and green hypericum berries for filler.
--had my hair and makeup consultation. Hair--sort of a side ponytail with loose curls over the shoulder. Makeup--natural but with a smokier eye, in purple. Veil--birdcage, in kind of a pillbox hat shape with a flower in the middle.
--bought foundation garments for the big day, including gut-sucking-in stuff. Which will be much needed.
--got fitted for my alterations. (Note to self: eat less.) They're going to add a tulle petticoat with a raw (but hopefully clean) edge that will protrude a good inch or so out of the bottom, take in the shoulders at the back, and add a gather on the straps at the front to transform the (rather gappy) v-neck into a sweetheart.
--looked for dresses for my mom. No dice yet.
--had my wedding shower. Actually a lot of fun, if bizarre (and kind of uncomfortable to be the center of attention like that for 2 straight hours).
--talked over the rehearsal dinner menu with the church ladies who are preparing it. Looks like we'll be able to do it for fairly close to what we budgeted.
--did laundry. Because it was time.
In addition, the HTB picked up our 90-some inch bookshelves (with a friend of our who has a truck) and got them all cleaned off, so we can start putting books on them.
Busy busy busy!
--looked at flowers with my mom and a friend of mine who is going to do the bouquets/arrangements. Possible ideas include orange & red ranunculus, red anemones, and green hypericum berries for filler.
--had my hair and makeup consultation. Hair--sort of a side ponytail with loose curls over the shoulder. Makeup--natural but with a smokier eye, in purple. Veil--birdcage, in kind of a pillbox hat shape with a flower in the middle.
--bought foundation garments for the big day, including gut-sucking-in stuff. Which will be much needed.
--got fitted for my alterations. (Note to self: eat less.) They're going to add a tulle petticoat with a raw (but hopefully clean) edge that will protrude a good inch or so out of the bottom, take in the shoulders at the back, and add a gather on the straps at the front to transform the (rather gappy) v-neck into a sweetheart.
--looked for dresses for my mom. No dice yet.
--had my wedding shower. Actually a lot of fun, if bizarre (and kind of uncomfortable to be the center of attention like that for 2 straight hours).
--talked over the rehearsal dinner menu with the church ladies who are preparing it. Looks like we'll be able to do it for fairly close to what we budgeted.
--did laundry. Because it was time.
In addition, the HTB picked up our 90-some inch bookshelves (with a friend of our who has a truck) and got them all cleaned off, so we can start putting books on them.
Busy busy busy!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Progress
My twin mattress and bed frame are moved into the new apartment. (But not assembled--I'll just sleep on the mattress on the floor for the next month until his double bed is moved in.) We also now have 4 eye level bookshelves (plus an extra one that will be going to a friend of ours), 2 black reading chairs, a previously mentioned red couch, a previously mentioned zebra print rug, frames for his Army of Darkness poster and two vintage Lord of the Rings posters, two small white bookshelves, and red thermal blackout curtains for the front windows. This weekend, we should be getting brown curtains for the bedroom, and he is going to move in the two tall bookshelves.
After that, all we have left to move is:
--my large dresser
--my small dresser
--my cedar chest
--his small white bookshelf
--his bed
--his TV
--his TV stand
I think that's it for the big stuff. Obviously, we still have tons of clothes and books and stuff to move (and to throw away, because whoa do we not need everything we have). And we'll have to get rid of his recliner and futon, and my box springs. Then once his bed is in, we can get rid of the twin mattress (we're keeping the twin frame, since my grandma gave it to me).
But still, it's starting to look like people live there.
After that, all we have left to move is:
--my large dresser
--my small dresser
--my cedar chest
--his small white bookshelf
--his bed
--his TV
--his TV stand
I think that's it for the big stuff. Obviously, we still have tons of clothes and books and stuff to move (and to throw away, because whoa do we not need everything we have). And we'll have to get rid of his recliner and futon, and my box springs. Then once his bed is in, we can get rid of the twin mattress (we're keeping the twin frame, since my grandma gave it to me).
But still, it's starting to look like people live there.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Done and done!
Wedding/marriage related tasks accomplished: HTB added to phone plan. Engagement pics taken (and wedding and engagement pics paid for). Mattress moved to new place (shortly to be followed by box springs and frame). Books boxed up. Curtains purchased.
Oh my gosh, I'm actually more excited than overwhelmed today. Crazy.
Oh my gosh, I'm actually more excited than overwhelmed today. Crazy.
Phone home
And we're officially on the same phone plan. Which is to say, we're on my parents phone plan. It's much cheaper for us all to be on a friends and family plan together. CRAZY.
Friday, April 1, 2011
She's come undone
I have no idea how much is hormones, how much is wedding stress, and how much is just me being a sinner and falling prey to sinful worry, but I am seriously coming apart at the seams.
Last night, the post office was supposed to deliver the balance of our invitations. (We'd uploaded addresses for the first batch and had the printers address and mail them, but ordered another batch to be sent to us so we could address them as the 'no' rsvps opened up more spots.) But of course, they didn't actually deliver them. (This is unusual--usually the post office is fine with leaving packages on the step. It's UPS that has a weird phobia of my pristine and totally non-threatening neighborhood.) When I checked the tracking info today, I was informed that they'd 'attempted' delivery, but were unsuccessful, and so left a notice. Except there was no notice. So the post office website's instructions to pick up my package from the post office listed on the notice was not terribly helpful. So I called the post office 800 number. After a series of automated responses, I got a live person who told me where I could pick up my package. So I ducked out of the office to pick it up on my lunch hour.
Of course there was like a 10 minute wait for the metro. And then another 10 minute walk to the post office from the metro. And then a long line. While I was waiting in line, I got this funny feeling . . . and started wondering if maybe this wasn't the right post office. See, I live in one quadrant of the district, and this post office was in an adjacent quadrant. Since I was stuck waiting in line anyway, I decided to call the 800 number again and double check that I was in the right place (rather than waiting in line for half an hour only to discover that I'd been misinformed). And yeah. I'd been misinformed. My package was actually at the post office in my quadrant. Like a block from my house. There was no metro line between the two post offices, so I headed over on foot. Another 20 minute walk. Then a 15 minute wait in line. (Why not just go Saturday, you ask? Because the lines on Saturday are insane, and I have breakfast and bible study and wedding flowers and engagement pictures and all sort of craziness tomorrow. That's why.)
I had another scare when I got to the counter . . . the lady told me that the other post office was indeed my post office, but that the package might be at this one. Which it was. Thank God. Because by this time, I'd spent more than an hour and a half on this errand, and still had to get back to the office (another 30 minute walk/metro ride--I ended up cabbing it to save time).
So I got the package. But I have been fighting tears for the past hour. And I just . . . I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Because I can't seem to handle . . . anything. It feels like my sense of humor is broken. Everything's a tragedy, everything's annoying, everything is the end of the world. I just want to lay my head down on my desk and cry. And over what? A mistake by a postal employee? Yes, because that's something to write home about. It happens all the time. I know it happens all the time.
I just feel so overwhelmed. All the time. I feel pulled in a million directions and I don't know what to do.
As the HTB said the other day: We're never getting divorced, because the idea of doing all this again . . . well, that's the stuff nightmares are made of. God only knows why anyone would want to do this again.
Last night, the post office was supposed to deliver the balance of our invitations. (We'd uploaded addresses for the first batch and had the printers address and mail them, but ordered another batch to be sent to us so we could address them as the 'no' rsvps opened up more spots.) But of course, they didn't actually deliver them. (This is unusual--usually the post office is fine with leaving packages on the step. It's UPS that has a weird phobia of my pristine and totally non-threatening neighborhood.) When I checked the tracking info today, I was informed that they'd 'attempted' delivery, but were unsuccessful, and so left a notice. Except there was no notice. So the post office website's instructions to pick up my package from the post office listed on the notice was not terribly helpful. So I called the post office 800 number. After a series of automated responses, I got a live person who told me where I could pick up my package. So I ducked out of the office to pick it up on my lunch hour.
Of course there was like a 10 minute wait for the metro. And then another 10 minute walk to the post office from the metro. And then a long line. While I was waiting in line, I got this funny feeling . . . and started wondering if maybe this wasn't the right post office. See, I live in one quadrant of the district, and this post office was in an adjacent quadrant. Since I was stuck waiting in line anyway, I decided to call the 800 number again and double check that I was in the right place (rather than waiting in line for half an hour only to discover that I'd been misinformed). And yeah. I'd been misinformed. My package was actually at the post office in my quadrant. Like a block from my house. There was no metro line between the two post offices, so I headed over on foot. Another 20 minute walk. Then a 15 minute wait in line. (Why not just go Saturday, you ask? Because the lines on Saturday are insane, and I have breakfast and bible study and wedding flowers and engagement pictures and all sort of craziness tomorrow. That's why.)
I had another scare when I got to the counter . . . the lady told me that the other post office was indeed my post office, but that the package might be at this one. Which it was. Thank God. Because by this time, I'd spent more than an hour and a half on this errand, and still had to get back to the office (another 30 minute walk/metro ride--I ended up cabbing it to save time).
So I got the package. But I have been fighting tears for the past hour. And I just . . . I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Because I can't seem to handle . . . anything. It feels like my sense of humor is broken. Everything's a tragedy, everything's annoying, everything is the end of the world. I just want to lay my head down on my desk and cry. And over what? A mistake by a postal employee? Yes, because that's something to write home about. It happens all the time. I know it happens all the time.
I just feel so overwhelmed. All the time. I feel pulled in a million directions and I don't know what to do.
As the HTB said the other day: We're never getting divorced, because the idea of doing all this again . . . well, that's the stuff nightmares are made of. God only knows why anyone would want to do this again.
Surreal Life
The Evite for my wedding shower went out yesterday. My wedding shower. I am having a wedding shower. Because I am getting married. Married. When did this happen? Where was I? What is going on?
You'd think that picking out a wedding dress would have made me realize. Or maybe buying wedding rings. And getting them engraved. Or sending out wedding invitations. Or planning a reception. Or a thousand other tasks we've done in the past three months. But no. Somehow, looking at the Evite for my wedding shower . . . well, it hits me in a way I wouldn't have expected. People are coming. It's been less than 24 hours and 20 people have RSVP'd. They're coming to celebrate my upcoming marriage.
I had a related revelation the other day, as I realized that it's only 30-something days til the wedding. (36 today). I knew this. I knew it was coming. We're doing a countdown through Psalms, so I read Psalm 45 and knew it was 45 days til the wedding . . . read Psalm 40 and knew it was 40 days . . . every time I look at our wedding website, I see the banner across the top that says how many days we have left. But none of that sunk in. Until the HTB mentioned it the other day. And then my brain exploded. That's . . . so not very many days! And I swear they keep going by faster and faster. For a while there, I would think, man, it's been 11 weeks to the wedding forever! When will it be 10 weeks? Why is this taking so long? Now I'm like, "It's 5 weeks tomorrow? Where have I been? Wasn't it just 6 weeks?" It feels like a train I can't stop. It just keeps coming, picking up speed as it comes.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I want the train not to reach the destination. In some ways, I wish it were already here. But sometimes I wish I could just slow it down. Even pause it for a minute. Take a breath. Get my bearings.
It's not dissimilar to the feeling I had when he proposed. I told him I needed a minute . . . and then I waited for my brain to slow down, my breathing to regulate. I waited for my brain to get a handle on the situation, for my heart to stop racing. I wanted to chaos and panic and whirlwind to pass so I could respond from a place of cool, collected rationality. But the moment didn't come. My breathing didn't slow down, my heart didn't relax, my mind whirled around a mile a minute with no sign of stopping. There was no calm, no restful, cool stillness from which to speak. And when I realized that, realized that the chaos in my mind wasn't going anywhere, I went ahead and answered from the storm. Because after all, I knew the answer. I had known for a while. So I wasn't rushed, even if I sort of felt rushed. I felt like I was in a whirlwind, and I wanted to answer from a place of calm. But the calm wasn't there. So I answered anyway.
I begin to suspect that the rest of life is going to be this way. I know the answer. I know I want to marry him. I want to marry him more today than I did when he first proposed. But I confess that I also want to push the pause button for a bit, tell everyone (including myself) to just chill the heck out for a bit while I catch my breath. Then, once I get my brain around the situation, then we can press play again. Except there is no pause button. The train keeps rolling, the reel keeps spinning, and life marches on. And let's be honest. Even if I had a pause button, I cannot honestly say I'd every be fully ready. That moment of calm is just a fantasy. The reality is I'd be overwhelmed by marriage no matter how much time I had.
So once again I have to answer from the storm. I know this is the choice I want, I know it is good. And I will stick to it, even if my Vulcan heart wants to hold off until I can be coolly logical, instead of frantically discombobulated. Because life doesn't wait for you to be ready. It keeps coming. And God doesn't promise to equip you ahead of time. He gives grace for the moment, peace for today. So I remind myself to trust Him, and then duck my head and press on through the storm.
(Apologies for all the mixed metaphors, BTW.)
You'd think that picking out a wedding dress would have made me realize. Or maybe buying wedding rings. And getting them engraved. Or sending out wedding invitations. Or planning a reception. Or a thousand other tasks we've done in the past three months. But no. Somehow, looking at the Evite for my wedding shower . . . well, it hits me in a way I wouldn't have expected. People are coming. It's been less than 24 hours and 20 people have RSVP'd. They're coming to celebrate my upcoming marriage.
I had a related revelation the other day, as I realized that it's only 30-something days til the wedding. (36 today). I knew this. I knew it was coming. We're doing a countdown through Psalms, so I read Psalm 45 and knew it was 45 days til the wedding . . . read Psalm 40 and knew it was 40 days . . . every time I look at our wedding website, I see the banner across the top that says how many days we have left. But none of that sunk in. Until the HTB mentioned it the other day. And then my brain exploded. That's . . . so not very many days! And I swear they keep going by faster and faster. For a while there, I would think, man, it's been 11 weeks to the wedding forever! When will it be 10 weeks? Why is this taking so long? Now I'm like, "It's 5 weeks tomorrow? Where have I been? Wasn't it just 6 weeks?" It feels like a train I can't stop. It just keeps coming, picking up speed as it comes.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I want the train not to reach the destination. In some ways, I wish it were already here. But sometimes I wish I could just slow it down. Even pause it for a minute. Take a breath. Get my bearings.
It's not dissimilar to the feeling I had when he proposed. I told him I needed a minute . . . and then I waited for my brain to slow down, my breathing to regulate. I waited for my brain to get a handle on the situation, for my heart to stop racing. I wanted to chaos and panic and whirlwind to pass so I could respond from a place of cool, collected rationality. But the moment didn't come. My breathing didn't slow down, my heart didn't relax, my mind whirled around a mile a minute with no sign of stopping. There was no calm, no restful, cool stillness from which to speak. And when I realized that, realized that the chaos in my mind wasn't going anywhere, I went ahead and answered from the storm. Because after all, I knew the answer. I had known for a while. So I wasn't rushed, even if I sort of felt rushed. I felt like I was in a whirlwind, and I wanted to answer from a place of calm. But the calm wasn't there. So I answered anyway.
I begin to suspect that the rest of life is going to be this way. I know the answer. I know I want to marry him. I want to marry him more today than I did when he first proposed. But I confess that I also want to push the pause button for a bit, tell everyone (including myself) to just chill the heck out for a bit while I catch my breath. Then, once I get my brain around the situation, then we can press play again. Except there is no pause button. The train keeps rolling, the reel keeps spinning, and life marches on. And let's be honest. Even if I had a pause button, I cannot honestly say I'd every be fully ready. That moment of calm is just a fantasy. The reality is I'd be overwhelmed by marriage no matter how much time I had.
So once again I have to answer from the storm. I know this is the choice I want, I know it is good. And I will stick to it, even if my Vulcan heart wants to hold off until I can be coolly logical, instead of frantically discombobulated. Because life doesn't wait for you to be ready. It keeps coming. And God doesn't promise to equip you ahead of time. He gives grace for the moment, peace for today. So I remind myself to trust Him, and then duck my head and press on through the storm.
(Apologies for all the mixed metaphors, BTW.)
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